Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Parts One and Two Read online

  ALBUS

  Right. Me next.

  SCORPIUS

  No. No way, José. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it (he puts on a pair of familiar-looking glasses with a smile) together.

  ALBUS

  Three. Two. One.

  They swallow.

  No, that’s good (he’s racked with pain). That’s less good.

  They both start to transform and it’s agonising.

  ALBUS turns into RON, SCORPIUS into HARRY.

  The two look at each other. There’s a silence.

  ALBUS/RON

  This is going to be slightly weird isn’t it?

  SCORPIUS/HARRY (full of drama – he’s really enjoying this)

  Go to your room. Go straight to your room. You’ve been an incredibly awful and bad son.

  ALBUS/RON (with a laugh)

  Scorpius . . .

  SCORPIUS/HARRY (tossing his cloak over his shoulder)

  It was your idea – I be him and you be Ron! I just want to have a little fun before I . . . (And then he burps loudly.) Okay, so that’s utterly horrible.

  ALBUS/RON

  You know, he hides it well, but Uncle Ron’s got a bit of a gut growing.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  We should go – don’t you think?

  They emerge on to the street. They enter a telephone box. They dial 62442.

  TELEPHONE BOX

  Welcome, Harry Potter. Welcome, Hermione Granger. Welcome, Ron Weasley.

  They smile as the telephone box disappears into the floor.

  ACT ONE SCENE SEVENTEEN

  MINISTRY OF MAGIC, MEETING ROOM

  HARRY, HERMIONE, GINNY and DRACO pace around a small room.

  DRACO

  Have we searched thoroughly beside the tracks . . .

  HARRY

  My department have searched once and are searching again.

  DRACO

  And the Trolley Witch is not able to tell us anything useful?

  HERMIONE

  The Trolley Witch is furious. She keeps talking about letting down Ottaline Gambol. She prides herself on her Hogwarts delivery record.

  GINNY

  Have there been any instances of magic reported by the Muggles?

  HERMIONE

  None so far. I have made the Muggle Prime Minister aware and he is filing what is known as a misper. Sounds like a spell. It isn’t.

  DRACO

  So now we’re relying on Muggles to find our children? Have we told them about Harry’s scar too?

  HERMIONE

  We’re merely asking the Muggles to help. And who knows how Harry’s scar might be involved but it’s certainly a matter we’re taking seriously. Our Aurors are currently investigating anyone involved in Dark Magic and—

  DRACO

  This is not Death Eater-related.

  HERMIONE

  I’m not sure I share your confidence . . .

  DRACO

  I’m not confident, I’m right. The sort of cretins pursuing Dark Magic now. My son is a Malfoy, they wouldn’t dare.

  HARRY

  Unless there’s something new out there, something to—

  GINNY

  I agree with Draco – if this is a kidnap – taking Albus I understand, taking them both . . .

  HARRY locks eyes with GINNY, it becomes clear what she wants him to say.

  DRACO

  And Scorpius is a follower not a leader despite everything I’ve tried to instil in him. So it’s undoubtedly Albus who got him from that train and my question is, where would he take him?

  GINNY

  Harry, they’ve run away, you and I know it.

  DRACO notices the couple staring at each other.

  DRACO

  Do you? Know it? What aren’t you telling us?

  There’s a silence.

  Whatever information you’re concealing, I recommend you share it now.

  HARRY

  Albus and I had an argument, the day before last.

  DRACO

  And . . .

  HARRY hesitates and then makes brave eye contact with DRACO.

  HARRY

  And I told him that there were times when I wished he weren’t my son.

  There’s another silence. A profoundly powerful one. And then DRACO takes a dangerous step towards HARRY.

  DRACO

  If anything happens to Scorpius . . .

  GINNY steps in between DRACO and HARRY.

  GINNY

  Don’t throw around threats Draco, please don’t do that.

  DRACO (roar)

  My son is missing!

  GINNY (an equal roar)

  So is mine!

  He meets her look. There’s real emotion in this room.

  DRACO (lip curling, every inch his father)

  If you need gold . . . everything the Malfoys have . . . he’s my sole heir . . . he’s my – only family.

  HERMIONE

  The Ministry has plenty in reserve, thank you Draco.

  DRACO makes to leave. He stops. He looks at HARRY.

  DRACO

  I don’t care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.

  ACT ONE SCENE EIGHTEEN

  MINISTRY OF MAGIC, CORRIDOR

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  And you’re sure it’s in there?

  A GUARD walks past. SCORPIUS/HARRY and DELPHI/HERMIONE try to affect performances.

  Yes Minister, I definitely think this is a matter for the Ministry to ponder at length, yes.

  GUARD (with a nod)

  Minister.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Let’s ponder it together.

  The GUARD walks on, they let out a sigh of relief.

  It was my uncle’s idea to use the Veritaserum – we slipped it into a visiting Ministry official’s drink. He told us that the Time-Turner had been kept and even told us where – the office of the Minister for Magic herself.

  She indicates a door. Suddenly they hear a noise.

  HERMIONE (from off)

  Harry . . . we should talk about it . . .

  HARRY (from off)

  There’s nothing to talk about.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Oh no.

  ALBUS/RON

  Hermione. And Dad.

  The panic is instant and infectious.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Okay. Hiding places. No hiding places. Anyone know any Invisibility Charms?

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Do we go – in her office?

  ALBUS/RON

  She’ll be coming to her office.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  There’s nowhere else.

  She tries the door. She tries it again.

  HERMIONE (from off)

  If you don’t talk to me or Ginny about it . . .

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Stand back. Alohomora!

  He aims his wand at the door. The door swings open. He grins – delighted.

  Albus. Block her. It has to be you.

  HARRY (from off)

  What is there to say?

  ALBUS/RON

  Me. Why?

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Well, it can’t be either of us can it? We are them.

  HERMIONE (from off)

  What you said was obviously wrong – but – there are more factors at play here than—

  ALBUS/RON

  But I can’t . . . I can’t . . .

  There’s a small kerfuffle and then ALBUS/RON ends up standing outside the door as HERMIONE and HARRY enter from off.

  HARRY

  Hermione, I’m grateful for your concern but there’s no need—

  HERMIONE

  Ron?

  ALBUS/RON

  Surprise!!!

  HERMIONE

  What are you doing here?

  ALBUS/RON

  Does a man need an excuse to see his wife?

  He kisses HERMIONE firmly.

  HARRY

  I should go . . .

/>   HERMIONE

  Harry. My point is whatever Draco says – the things you said to Albus . . . I don’t think it’ll do any of us any good for you to dwell on it . . .

  ALBUS/RON

  Oh, you’re talking about how Harry said sometimes he wished I— (he corrects himself) Albus weren’t his son.

  HERMIONE

  Ron!

  ALBUS/RON

  Better out than in, that’s what I say . . .

  HERMIONE

  He’ll know . . . we all say stuff we don’t mean. He knows that.

  ALBUS/RON

  But what if sometimes we say stuff we do mean . . . what then?

  HERMIONE

  Ron, now’s not the time, honestly.

  ALBUS/RON

  Of course it isn’t. Bye, bye darling.

  ALBUS/RON watches her go, hopeful she’ll walk past her office and away. But of course she doesn’t. He runs to block her before she enters through her door. He blocks her once, and then blocks her again, swinging his hips to do so.

  HERMIONE

  Why are you blocking the entrance to my office?

  ALBUS/RON

  I’m not. Blocking. Anything.

  She again makes for the door, he blocks her again.

  HERMIONE

  You are. Let me into my room, Ron.

  ALBUS/RON

  Let’s have another baby.

  HERMIONE tries to dodge past him.

  HERMIONE

  What?

  ALBUS/RON

  Or if not another baby, a holiday. I want a baby or a holiday and I’m going to insist on it. Shall we talk about it later, honey?

  She tries to get into the room one final time, he blocks her with a kiss. It develops into quite a struggle.

  Maybe with a drink in the Leaky Cauldron? Love you.

  HERMIONE (relenting)

  If there’s another stink pellet in there then Merlin won’t help you. Fine. We’re due to update the Muggles anyway.

  She exits. HARRY exits with her.

  ALBUS/RON turns towards the door. She re-enters, this time, alone.

  A baby – OR – a holiday? Some days you are off the scale you know that?

  ALBUS/RON

  It’s why you married me isn’t it? My puckish sense of fun.

  She exits again. He starts to open the door but again she re-enters, he slams it closed.

  HERMIONE

  I can taste fish. I told you to stay away from those fish finger sandwiches.

  ALBUS/RON

  Right you are.

  She exits. He checks she’s gone and the relief floods out of him as he opens the door.

  ACT ONE SCENE NINETEEN

  MINISTRY OF MAGIC, HERMIONE’S OFFICE

  SCORPIUS/HARRY and DELPHI/HERMIONE are waiting on the other side of HERMIONE’s office door as ALBUS/RON enters – he slumps, exhausted.

  ALBUS/RON

  This is all too weird.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  You were impressive. Good blocking action.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  I don’t know whether to high-five you or frown at you for kissing your aunt about five hundred times!

  ALBUS/RON

  Ron’s an affectionate guy. I was trying to distract her, Scorpius. I did distract her.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  And then there’s what your dad said . . .

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Boys . . . she will be back – we don’t have long.

  ALBUS/RON (to SCORPIUS/HARRY)

  You heard that?

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Where would Hermione hide a Time-Turner? (She looks around the room and sees the bookcases.) Search the bookcases.

  They start to search. SCORPIUS/HARRY looks at his friend, concerned.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Why didn’t you tell me?

  ALBUS/RON

  My dad says he wishes I weren’t his son. Hardly a conversation starter is it?

  SCORPIUS/HARRY tries to work out what to say.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  I know the – Voldemort thing isn’t – true – and – you know – but sometimes, I think I can see my dad thinking: how did I produce this?

  ALBUS/RON

  Still better than my dad. I’m pretty sure he spends most of his time thinking: how can I give him back?

  DELPHI/HERMIONE tries to pull SCORPIUS/HARRY towards the bookcases.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  Maybe if we could concentrate on the matter at hand.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  My point is – there’s a reason – we’re friends, Albus – a reason we found each other, you know? And whatever this – adventure is about . . .

  Then he spots a book on the shelf that makes him frown.

  Have you seen the books on these shelves? There are some serious books here. Banned books. Cursed books.

  ALBUS/RON

  How to distract Scorpius from difficult emotional issues. Take him to a library.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  All the books from the Restricted Section and then some. Magick Moste Evile, Fifteenth-Century Fiends. Sonnets of a Sorcerer – that’s not even allowed in Hogwarts!

  ALBUS/RON

  Shadows and Spirits. The Nightshade Guide to Necromancy.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  They are quite something aren’t they . . .

  ALBUS/RON

  The True History of the Opal Fire. The Imperius Curse and How to Abuse it.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  And lookee here. Whoah. My Eyes and How to See Past Them by Sybill Trelawney. A book on divination. Hermione Granger hates divination. This is fascinating. This is a find . . .

  He pulls the book from the shelf. And it falls open. And speaks.

  BOOK

  The first is the fourth, a disappointing mark

  You’ll find it in parked but not in park.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Okay. A book that talks. Bit weird.

  BOOK

  The second is the less fair of those that walk on two legs.

  Grubby, hairy a disease of the egg.

  And the third is both a mountain to climb and a route to take.

  ALBUS/RON

  It’s a riddle. It’s giving us a riddle.

  BOOK

  A turn in the city, a glide through a lake.

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  What have you done?

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  I, uh, I opened a book. Something which has – in all my years on this planet – never been a particularly dangerous activity.

  The books reach out and grab ALBUS/RON. He only just eludes their grasp.

  ALBUS/RON

  What is that?

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  She’s weaponised it. She’s weaponised her library. This is where the Time-Turner will be. Solve the riddle and we’ll find it.

  ALBUS/RON

  The first is a fourth. You’ll find it in parked, not in park. Ed – De—

  The books start to try and swallow DELPHI/HERMIONE.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  The second is a disease of the egg, the less fair of those who walk on two legs . . .

  DELPHI/HERMIONE (effusively)

  Men! De – men – tors. We need to find a book on Dementors (the bookcase pulls her in), Albus!

  ALBUS/RON

  Delphi! What is going on?

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Concentrate, Albus. Do what she said. Find a book on Dementors and be very careful.

  ALBUS/RON

  Here. Dominating Dementors: A True History of Azkaban.

  The book flies open and swings dangerously at SCORPIUS/HARRY, who has to dodge out of the way. He falls hard against a bookcase which attempts to consume him.

  BOOK

  I was born in a cage

  But smashed it with rage

  The Gaunt inside me

  Riddled me free

  Of that which would stop me to be.

  ALBUS/RON

  Voldemort.


  DELPHI plunges through the books, back as herself.

  DELPHI

  Work faster!

  She’s pulled back in screaming.

  ALBUS/RON

  Delphi! Delphi!

  He tries to grab her hand, but she’s gone.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  She’d become herself again – did you notice?

  ALBUS/RON

  No! Because I was more worried about her being eaten by a bookcase! Find. Something. Anything on him.

  He finds a book.

  The Heir of Slytherin? Do you think?

  He pulls the book from the shelf, it pulls back, ALBUS/RON is consumed by the bookcase.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Albus? Albus!!

  But ALBUS/RON is gone.

  Okay. Not that. Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort.

  He scans the shelves.

  Marvolo: The Truth, this must be . . .

  He pulls it open. Again it swings away, revealing a splintering light, and a deeper voice than previously heard.

  BOOK

  I am the creature you have not seen

  I am you. I am me. The echo unforeseen.

  Sometimes in front, sometimes behind,

  A constant companion, for we are entwined.

  ALBUS emerges from the books. As himself again.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  Albus . . .

  He tries to grab him.

  ALBUS

  No. Just – THIIIIINK.

  ALBUS is violently pulled back into the bookcase.

  SCORPIUS/HARRY

  But I can’t . . . an invisible echo, what is that? The only thing I’m good at is thinking and when I need to think – I can’t.

  The books pull him inside them; he’s powerless. This is terrifying.

  There’s silence.

  Then BANG – a shower of books are released from the bookcase – and SCORPIUS re-emerges. Smashing the books aside.

  SCORPIUS

  No! You don’t! Sybill Trelawney. No!!!

  He looks around, sunk but full of energy.

  This is all wrong. Albus? Can you hear me? All this for a frigging Time-Turner. Think, Scorpius. Think.

  Books try and grab him.

  A constant companion. Sometimes behind. Sometimes in front. Hang on. I’ve missed it. Shadow. You’re a shadow. Shadows and Spirits. It must be . . .

  He climbs up the bookcase, which is horrifying as it rises up at him. Grabbing at him with his every step.

  He pulls the book from the shelf. It comes out and the noise and chaos suddenly stop.

  Is that—

  Suddenly there’s a smashing and ALBUS and DELPHI fall out of the shelves and down to the floor.

  We beat it. We beat the library.

  ALBUS