Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Parts One and Two Read online

Page 9


  SCORPIUS

  No. We won’t. Give it back, Albus! Give it back!

  ALBUS

  I can’t. This is too important.

  SCORPIUS

  Yes it’s too important – for us. We’re not good at this stuff. We’ll get it wrong.

  ALBUS

  Who’s saying that we’ll get it wrong?

  SCORPIUS

  I say. Because that’s what we do. We mess things up. We lose. We’re losers, true and total losers. Haven’t you realised that yet?

  ALBUS finally gets the upper hand and pins SCORPIUS to the ground.

  ALBUS

  Well, I wasn’t a loser before I met you.

  SCORPIUS

  Albus, whatever you’ve got to prove to your dad – this isn’t the way—

  ALBUS

  I don’t have anything to prove to my dad. I’ve got to save Cedric to save Rose. And maybe, without you holding me back, I can make a proper go of it.

  SCORPIUS

  Without me? Oh poor Albus Potter. With his chip on his shoulder. Poor Albus Potter. So sad.

  ALBUS

  What are you saying?

  SCORPIUS (exploding)

  Try my life! People look at you because your dad’s the famous Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world. People look at me because they think my dad is Voldemort. Voldemort.

  ALBUS

  Don’t even—

  SCORPIUS

  Can you even slightly imagine what that’s like? Have you even ever tried? No. Because you can’t see beyond the end of your nose. Because you can’t see beyond the end of your stupid thing with your dad. He will always be Harry Potter, you know that right? And you will always be his son. And I know it’s hard, and the other kids are awful but you have to learn to be okay with that, because – there are worse things, okay?

  Beat.

  There was a moment I was excited, when I realised time was different, a moment when I thought maybe my mum hadn’t got sick. Maybe my mum wasn’t dead. But no, turns out, she was. I’m still the child of Voldemort, without a mother, giving sympathy to the boy who doesn’t ever give anything back. So I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your life because I tell you – you wouldn’t have a chance of ruining mine – it was already ruined. You just didn’t make it better. Because you’re a terrible – the most terrible – friend.

  ALBUS digests this. He sees what he’s done to his friend.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL (from off)

  Albus? Albus Potter. Scorpius Malfoy. Are you in there – together? Because I advise you not to be.

  ALBUS looks at SCORPIUS, he pulls a cloak from his bag.

  ALBUS

  Quick. We need to hide.

  SCORPIUS

  What?

  ALBUS

  Scorpius, look at me.

  SCORPIUS

  That’s the Invisibility Cloak? Isn’t it James’s?

  ALBUS

  If she finds us, we’ll be forced apart forever. Please. I didn’t understand. Please.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL (from off, trying to give them every chance)

  I am about to enter.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL comes into the room, the Marauder’s Map in her hands. The boys disappear beneath the cloak. She looks around exasperated.

  Well, where have they – I never wanted this thing and now it’s playing tricks on me.

  She thinks. She looks back at the map. She identifies where they should be. She looks around the room.

  Objects move as the boys invisibly move past them. She sees where they’re heading, she makes to block them. But they skirt around her.

  Unless. Unless . . . your father’s cloak.

  She looks back at the map, she looks at the boys. She smiles to herself.

  Well, if I didn’t see you, I didn’t see you.

  She exits. The two boys remove the cloak. They sit in silence for a moment.

  ALBUS

  Yes, I stole this from James. He’s remarkably easy to steal from, his trunk combination is the date he got his first broom. I’ve found the cloak made avoiding bullies easier.

  SCORPIUS nods.

  I’m sorry – about your mum. I know we don’t talk about her enough – but I hope you know – I’m sorry – it’s rubbish – what happened to her – to you.

  SCORPIUS

  Thanks.

  ALBUS

  My dad said – said that you were this dark cloud around me. My dad started to think – and I just knew I had to stay away, and if I didn’t, Dad said he would—

  SCORPIUS

  Your dad thinks the rumours are true – I am the son of Voldemort?

  ALBUS (nods)

  His department are currently investigating it.

  SCORPIUS

  Good. Let them. Sometimes – sometimes I find myself thinking – maybe they’re true too.

  ALBUS

  No. They’re not true. And I’ll tell you why. Because I don’t think Voldemort is capable of having a kind son – and you’re kind, Scorpius. To the depths of your belly, to the tips of your fingers. I truly believe Voldemort – Voldemort couldn’t have a child like you.

  Beat. SCORPIUS is moved by this.

  SCORPIUS

  That’s nice – that’s a nice thing to say.

  ALBUS

  And it’s something I should have said a long time ago. In fact, you’re probably the best person I know. And you don’t – you couldn’t – hold me back – you make me stronger – and when Dad forced us apart – without you—

  SCORPIUS

  I didn’t much like my life without you in it either.

  ALBUS

  And I know I’ll always be Harry Potter’s son – and I will sort that out in my head – and I know compared to you my life is pretty good really and that he and I are comparatively lucky and—

  SCORPIUS (interrupting)

  Albus, as apologies go this is wonderfully fulsome, but you’re starting to talk more about you than me again, so probably better to quit while you’re ahead.

  ALBUS smiles and stretches out a hand.

  ALBUS

  Friends?

  SCORPIUS

  Always.

  SCORPIUS extends his hand, ALBUS pulls SCORPIUS up into a hug.

  That’s the second time you’ve done that.

  The two boys break apart and smile.

  ALBUS

  But I’m pleased we had this argument because it’s given me a really good idea.

  SCORPIUS

  About what?

  ALBUS

  It involves the second task. And humiliation.

  SCORPIUS

  You’re still talking about going back in time? Have we been having the same conversation?

  ALBUS

  You’re right – we are losers. We’re brilliant at losing and so we should be using our own knowledge here. Our own powers. Losers are taught to be losers. And there’s only one way to teach a loser – and we know that better than anyone – humiliation. We need to humiliate him. So in the second task that’s what we’ll do.

  SCORPIUS thinks – for a long time – and then smiles.

  SCORPIUS

  That’s a really good strategy.

  ALBUS

  I know.

  SCORPIUS

  I mean, quite spectacular. Humiliate Cedric to save Cedric. Clever. And Rose?

  ALBUS

  That I’m saving as a sparkly surprise. I can do it without you – but I want you there. Because I want us to do this together. Set things right together. So . . . will you come?

  SCORPIUS

  But, just a minute, isn’t – wasn’t – the second task took place in the lake and you’re not allowed to leave the school building?

  ALBUS grins.

  ALBUS

  Yes. About that . . . we need to find the girls’ bathroom on the first floor.

  ACT TWO SCENE SEVENTEEN

  HOGWARTS, STAIRCASES

  RON is walking down the staircase, consumed, and then he sees HERMIONE and
his expression changes entirely.

  RON

  Professor Granger.

  HERMIONE looks across, her heart leaps a bit too (though she won’t admit it).

  HERMIONE

  Ron. What are you doing here?

  RON

  Panju got in a little trouble in Potions class. Was showing off of course and put the wrong thing with the wrong thing, and now he has no eyebrows and a rather large moustache, apparently. Which doesn’t suit him. I didn’t want to come but Padma says that when it comes to facial growths, sons need their fathers. Have you done something with your hair?

  HERMIONE

  Just combed it I suspect.

  RON

  Well . . . combing it suits you.

  HERMIONE looks at RON slightly strangely.

  HERMIONE

  Ron, will you stop looking at me like that?

  RON (summoning confidence)

  You know, Harry’s boy Albus – said to me the other day that he thought you and I were – married. Ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ridiculous, I know.

  HERMIONE

  Very ridiculous.

  RON

  He even thought we had a daughter. That’d be strange wouldn’t it?

  The two lock eyes. HERMIONE is the first to break away.

  HERMIONE

  More than strange.

  RON

  Exactly. We’re – friends and that’s all.

  HERMIONE

  Absolutely. Only – friends.

  RON

  Only – friends. Funny word – friends. Not that funny. Just a word really. Friends. Friend. Funny friend. You, my funny friend, my Hermione. Not that – not my Hermione, you understand – not MY Hermione – not MINE – you know, but . . .

  HERMIONE

  I know.

  There’s a pause. Neither of them moves the smallest inch. Everything feels too important for movement. Then RON coughs.

  RON

  Well. Must get on. Sort Panju out. Teach him the finer arts of moustache grooming.

  He walks on, he turns, looks at HERMIONE. She looks back, he hurries on again.

  Your hair really does very much suit you.

  ACT TWO SCENE EIGHTEEN

  HOGWARTS, HEADMISTRESS’S OFFICE

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL is onstage on her own. She looks at the map. She frowns to herself. She taps it with her wand. She smiles to herself at a good decision made.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  Mischief managed.

  There’s a rattling.

  The whole stage seems to vibrate.

  GINNY is the first through the fireplace, and then HARRY.

  GINNY

  Professor, I can’t say that ever gets more dignified.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  Potter. You’re back. And you seem to have finally ruined my carpet.

  HARRY

  I need to find my son. We need to.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  Harry, I’ve considered this and decided I want no part of it. Whatever you threaten, I—

  HARRY

  Minerva, I come here in peace, not war. I should never have spoken to you that way.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  I just don’t think I can interfere in friendships and I believe—

  HARRY

  I need to say sorry to you and sorry to Albus, will you give me that chance?

  DRACO arrives behind them with a bang of soot.

  PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL

  Draco?

  DRACO

  He needs to see his son, and I need to see mine.

  HARRY

  Like I say – peace – not war.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL studies his face, she sees the sincerity she needs to see. She takes the map back out of her pocket. She opens it up.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  Well, peace is certainly something I can be part of.

  She taps it with her wand. Sighs.

  I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.

  The map is lit into action.

  Well, they are together.

  DRACO

  In the girls’ bathroom on the first floor. What on earth would they be doing there?

  ACT TWO SCENE NINETEEN

  HOGWARTS, GIRLS’ BATHROOM

  SCORPIUS and ALBUS enter a bathroom. In the centre of it is a large Victorian sink.

  SCORPIUS

  So let me get this right – the plan is Engorgement . . .

  ALBUS

  Yes. Scorpius, that soap if you may . . .

  SCORPIUS fishes a soap out of the sink.

  Engorgio!

  He fires a bolt from his wand across the room. The soap blows up to four times its size.

  SCORPIUS

  Nice. Consider me engorgimpressed.

  ALBUS

  The second task was the lake task. They had to retrieve something which was stolen from them, which turned out to be—

  SCORPIUS

  —people they loved.

  ALBUS

  Cedric used a Bubble-Head Charm to swim through the lake. All we do is follow him in there, and use Engorgement to turn him into something rather larger. We know the Time-Turner doesn’t give us long, so we’re going to be quick. Get to him and Engorgio his head and watch him float out of the lake – away from the task – away from the competition . . .

  SCORPIUS

  But – you still haven’t told me how we’re going to actually get to the lake . . .

  And then suddenly a jet of water emerges from the sink and after it ascends a very wet MOANING MYRTLE.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  Whoah. That feels good. Never used to enjoy that. But when you get to my age, you take what you can . . .

  SCORPIUS

  Of course – you’re a genius – Moaning Myrtle . . .

  MOANING MYRTLE swoops down on to SCORPIUS.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  What did you call me? Do I moan? Am I moaning now? Am I? Am I?

  SCORPIUS

  No, I didn’t mean . . .

  MOANING MYRTLE

  What’s my name?

  SCORPIUS

  Myrtle.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  Exactly – Myrtle. Myrtle Elizabeth Warren – a pretty name – my name. No need for the Moaning.

  SCORPIUS

  Well . . .

  MOANING MYRTLE (she giggles)

  It’s been a while. Boys. In my bathroom. In my girls’ bathroom. Well, that’s not right . . . but then again, I always did have a soft spot for the Potters. And I was moderately partial to a Malfoy too. Now how can I help you pair?

  ALBUS

  You were there Myrtle – in the lake. They wrote about you. There must be a way out of these pipes.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  I’ve been everywhere. But where specifically were you thinking?

  ALBUS

  The second task. The lake task. In the Triwizard Tournament. Twenty-five years ago. Harry and Cedric.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  Such a shame the pretty one had to die. Not that your father is not pretty – but Cedric Diggory – you’d be amazed at how many girls I had to hear doing love incantations in this very bathroom . . . and the weeping after he was taken.

  ALBUS

  Help us Myrtle, help us get into that same lake.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  You think I can help you travel in time?

  ALBUS

  We need you to keep a secret.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  I love secrets. I won’t tell a soul. Cross my heart and hope to die. Or – the equivalent. For ghosts. You know.

  ALBUS nods at SCORPIUS, who reveals the Time-Turner.

  ALBUS

  We can travel in time. You’re going to help us travel the pipes. We’re going to save Cedric Diggory.

  MOANING MYRTLE (grins)

  Well, that sounds like fun.

  ALBUS

  And we’ve no time to lose.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  This very sink. This very s
ink empties directly into the lake. It breaks every bylaw but this school has always been antiquated. Dive in and you will be piped straight to it.

  ALBUS pulls himself into the sink, dumping his cloak as he does. SCORPIUS copies.

  ALBUS hands SCORPIUS some green foliage in a bag.

  ALBUS

  Some for me and some for you.

  SCORPIUS

  Gillyweed? We’re using Gillyweed? To breathe under water?

  ALBUS

  Just like my dad did. Now, are you ready?

  SCORPIUS

  Remember, this time, we can’t be caught out by the clock . . .

  ALBUS

  Five minutes, that’s all we allow for, before we get pulled back to the present.

  SCORPIUS

  Tell me this is all going to be okay.

  ALBUS (grinning)

  It’s all going to be entirely okay. Are you ready?

  ALBUS takes the Gillyweed and disappears down.

  SCORPIUS

  No, Albus – Albus –

  He looks up, he and MOANING MYRTLE are alone.

  MOANING MYRTLE

  I do like brave boys.

  SCORPIUS (a little bit scared, a tiny bit brave)

  Then I’m entirely ready. For whatever comes.

  He takes the Gillyweed and disappears down.

  MOANING MYRTLE is left alone onstage.

  There is a giant whoosh of light and smash of noise.

  And time stops. And then it turns over, thinks a bit, and begins spooling backwards . . .

  The boys are gone.

  HARRY appears at a run, a deep frown on his face, behind him DRACO, GINNY and PROFESSOR McGONAGALL.

  HARRY

  Albus . . . Albus . . .

  GINNY

  He’s gone.

  They find the boys’ cloaks on the ground.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL (consulting the map)

  He’s disappeared. No, he’s travelling under Hogwarts grounds, no, he’s disappeared—

  DRACO

  How is he doing this?

  MOANING MYRTLE

  He’s using a rather pretty trinket thingy.

  HARRY

  Myrtle!

  MOANING MYRTLE

  Oops, you caught me. And I was trying so hard to hide. Hello, Harry. Hello, Draco. Have you been bad boys again?

  HARRY

  What trinket is he using?

  MOANING MYRTLE

  I think it was a secret, but I could never keep anything from you Harry. How is it you’ve grown handsomer and handsomer as you’ve aged? And you’re taller.

  HARRY

  My son is in danger. I need your help. What are they doing Myrtle?

 

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