Harry Potter and the Cursed Child: Parts One and Two Read online

  SCORPIUS

  Albus, for obvious reasons, I’m not a massive fan of Time-Turners . . .

  ALBUS

  When Amos Diggory asked for the Time-Turner my father denied they even existed. He lied to an old man who just wanted his son back – who just loved his son. And he did it because he didn’t care . . . because he doesn’t care. Everyone talks about all the brave things Dad did. But he made some mistakes too. Some big mistakes, in fact. I want to set one of those mistakes right. I want us to save Cedric.

  SCORPIUS

  Okay, whatever was holding your brain together seems to have snapped.

  ALBUS

  I’m going to do this, Scorpius. I need to do this. And you know as well as I do, I’ll entirely mess it up if you don’t come with me. Come on.

  He grins. And then disappears ever up. SCORPIUS hesitates for a moment. He makes a face. And then hoists himself up and disappears after ALBUS.

  ACT ONE SCENE ELEVEN

  THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS, ROOF

  The wind whistles from all angles and it’s a fierce wind at that.

  SCORPIUS

  Okay, now we’re on the roof of a train, it’s fast, it’s scary, this has been great, I feel like I’ve learnt a lot about me, something about you, but—

  ALBUS

  As I calculate it we should be approaching the viaduct soon and then it’ll be a short hike to St Oswald’s Home for Old Witches and Wizards . . .

  SCORPIUS

  The what? The where? Look, I am as excited as you are to be a rebel for the first time in my life – yay – train roof – fun – but now – oh.

  SCORPIUS sees something he doesn’t want to see.

  ALBUS

  The water will be an extremely useful back-up if our Cushioning Charm doesn’t work.

  SCORPIUS

  Albus. The Trolley Witch.

  ALBUS

  You want a snack for the journey?

  SCORPIUS

  No. Albus. The Trolley Witch is coming towards us.

  ALBUS

  No, she can’t be, we’re on top of the train . . .

  SCORPIUS points ALBUS in the right direction, and now he can see the TROLLEY WITCH, who approaches nonchalantly. Pushing her trolley.

  TROLLEY WITCH

  Anything from the trolley, dears? Pumpkin Pasty? Chocolate Frog? Cauldron Cake?

  ALBUS

  Oh.

  TROLLEY WITCH

  People don’t know much about me. They buy my Cauldron Cakes – but they never really notice me. I don’t remember the last time someone asked my name.

  ALBUS

  What is your name?

  TROLLEY WITCH

  I’ve forgotten. All I can tell you is that when the Hogwarts Express first came to be – Ottaline Gambol herself offered me this job . . .

  SCORPIUS

  That’s – a hundred and ninety years. You’ve been doing this job for a hundred and ninety years?

  TROLLEY WITCH

  These hands have made over six million Pumpkin Pasties. I’ve got quite good at them. But what people haven’t noticed about my Pumpkin Pasties is how easily they transform into something else . . .

  She picks up a Pumpkin Pasty. She throws it like a grenade. It explodes.

  And you won’t believe what I can do with my Chocolate Frogs. Never. Never. Have I let anyone off this train before they reached their destination. Some have tried – Sirius Black and his cronies, Fred and George Weasley. ALL HAVE FAILED. BECAUSE THIS TRAIN – IT DOESN’T LIKE PEOPLE GETTING OFF IT . . .

  The TROLLEY WITCH’s hands transfigure into very sharp spikes. She smiles.

  So please retake your seats for the remainder of the journey.

  ALBUS

  You were right, Scorpius. This train is magical.

  SCORPIUS

  At this precise moment in time, I take no pleasure in being right.

  ALBUS

  But I was also right – about the viaduct – that’s water down there, time to try the Cushioning Charm.

  SCORPIUS

  Albus, this is a bad idea.

  ALBUS

  Is it? (He has a moment’s hesitation, then he realises the time for hesitation has passed.) Too late now. Three. Two. One. Molliare!

  He incants as he jumps.

  SCORPIUS

  Albus . . . Albus . . .

  He looks down desperately after his friend. He looks at the approaching TROLLEY WITCH. Her hair wild. Her spikes particularly spiky.

  Well, as fun as you clearly look, I have to go after my friend.

  He pinches his nose, he jumps after ALBUS, incanting as he goes.

  Molliare!

  ACT ONE SCENE TWELVE

  MINISTRY OF MAGIC, GRAND MEETING ROOM

  The stage is flooded with wizards and witches. They rattle and chatter like all true wizards and witches can. Amongst them, GINNY, DRACO and RON. Above them, on a stage, HERMIONE and HARRY.

  HERMIONE

  Order. Order. Do I have to conjure silence? (She pulls silence from the crowd using her wand.) Good. Welcome to this Extraordinary General Meeting. I’m so pleased so many of you could make it. The wizarding world has been living in peace now for many years. It’s twenty-two years since we defeated Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts and I’m delighted to say there is a new generation being brought up having known only the slightest conflict. Until now. Harry?

  HARRY

  Voldemort’s allies have been showing movement for a few months now. We’ve followed trolls making their way across Europe, giants starting to cross the seas, and the werewolves – well, I’m distressed to say we lost sight of them some weeks ago. We don’t know where they’re going or who’s encouraged them to move – but we are aware they are moving – and we are concerned what it might mean. So we’re asking – if anyone has seen anything? Felt anything? If you could raise a wand, we will hear everyone speak. Professor McGonagall – thank you.

  PROFESSOR McGONAGALL

  It did look like the Potions stores had been interfered with when we returned from summer break, but not a huge amount of ingredients were missing, some Boomslang skin and lacewing flies, nothing on the Restricted Register. We put it down to Peeves.

  HERMIONE

  Thank you, Professor. We shall investigate. (She looks around the room.) Nobody else? Fine, and – gravest of all – and this hasn’t been the case since Voldemort – Harry’s scar is hurting again.

  DRACO

  Voldemort is dead, Voldemort is gone.

  HERMIONE

  Yes, Draco, Voldemort is dead but these things all lead us to think that there is a possibility that Voldemort – or some trace of Voldemort – might be back.

  This gets a reaction.

  HARRY

  Now this is difficult but we have to ask it to rule it out. Those of you with a Dark Mark . . . have you felt anything? Even a twinge?

  DRACO

  Back to being prejudiced against those with a Dark Mark are we, Potter?

  HERMIONE

  No, Draco. Harry is simply trying to—

  DRACO

  You know what this is about? Harry just wants his face back in the newspapers again. We’ve had rumours of Voldemort coming back from the Daily Prophet once a year every year—

  HARRY

  None of those rumours came from me!

  DRACO

  Really? Doesn’t your wife edit the Daily Prophet?

  GINNY steps towards him, outraged.

  GINNY

  The sports pages!

  HERMIONE

  Draco. Harry brought this matter to the attention of the Ministry . . . and I, as Minister for Magic—

  DRACO

  A vote you only won because you are his friend.

  RON is held back by GINNY as he charges at DRACO.

  RON

  Do you want a smack in the mouth?

  DRACO

  Face it – his celebrity impacts upon you all. And how better to get everyone whispering the Potter name again than
with (he does an impression of HARRY) ‘my scar is hurting, my scar is hurting’. And do you know what this all means – that the gossipmongers once again have an opportunity to defame my son with these ridiculous rumours about his parentage.

  HARRY

  Draco, no one is saying this has anything to do with Scorpius . . .

  DRACO

  Well, I, for one, think this meeting a sham. And I’m leaving.

  He walks out. Others start to disperse after him.

  HERMIONE

  No. That’s not the way . . . come back. We need a strategy.

  ACT ONE SCENE THIRTEEN

  ST OSWALD’S HOME FOR OLD WITCHES AND WIZARDS

  This is chaos. This is magic. This is St Oswald’s Home for Old Witches and Wizards and it is as wonderful as you might hope.

  Zimmer frames are conjured into life, knitting wool is enchanted into chaos, and male nurses are made to dance the tango.

  These are people relieved of the burden of having to do magic for a reason – instead, these witches and wizards do magic for fun. And what fun they have.

  ALBUS and SCORPIUS enter, looking around themselves, amused, and – let’s face it – slightly scared.

  ALBUS and SCORPIUS

  Um, excuse me . . . Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!

  SCORPIUS

  Okay, so this place is wild.

  ALBUS

  We’re looking for Amos Diggory.

  There is suddenly total silence. Everything is instantly still. And slightly depressed.

  WOOL WOMAN

  And what’you boys want with that miserable old sod?

  DELPHI appears with a smile.

  DELPHI

  Albus? Albus! You came? How wonderful! Come and say hello to Amos!

  ACT ONE SCENE FOURTEEN

  ST OSWALD’S HOME FOR OLD WITCHES AND WIZARDS, AMOS’S ROOM

  AMOS looks at SCORPIUS and ALBUS, irritated. DELPHI watches the three of them.

  AMOS

  So let me get this straight. You overhear a conversation – a conversation which was not meant for you to overhear – and you decide, without prompting – in fact, without leave – to interfere, and interfere hard, in someone else’s business.

  ALBUS

  My father lied to you – I know he did – they do have a Time-Turner.

  AMOS

  Of course they do. You can move along now.

  ALBUS

  What? No. We’re here to help.

  AMOS

  Help? What use could a pair of undersized teenagers be for me?

  ALBUS

  My father proved you don’t have to be grown up to change the wizarding world.

  AMOS

  So I should allow you to get involved because you’re a Potter? Relying on your famous name are you?

  ALBUS

  No!

  AMOS

  A Potter who is in Slytherin house – yes, I’ve read about you – and who brings a Malfoy with him to visit me – a Malfoy who may be a Voldemort? Who’s to say you’re not involved in Dark Magic?

  ALBUS

  But—

  AMOS

  Your information was obvious but the confirmation is useful. Your father did lie. Now leave. The pair of you. And stop wasting my time.

  ALBUS (with power and strength)

  No, you need to listen to me, you said it yourself – how much blood is on my father’s hands. Let me help you change that. Let me help correct one of his mistakes. Trust me.

  AMOS (his voice raised)

  Did you not hear me, boy? I see no reason to trust you. So go. Now. Before I make you leave.

  He raises his wand ominously. ALBUS looks at the wand – he deflates – AMOS has crushed him.

  SCORPIUS

  Come on mate, if there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s knowing where we’re not wanted.

  ALBUS is reluctant to leave. SCORPIUS pulls him by the arm. He turns and they walk away.

  DELPHI

  I can think of one reason why you should trust them, Uncle.

  They stop.

  They’re the only ones volunteering to help. They’re prepared to bravely put themselves at risk to return your son to your side. In fact, I’m pretty sure they put themselves at risk even getting here . . .

  AMOS

  This is Cedric we’re talking about . . .

  DELPHI

  And – didn’t you say yourself – having someone inside Hogwarts might be a massive advantage?

  DELPHI kisses the top of AMOS’s head. AMOS looks at DELPHI, and then turns to look at the boys.

  AMOS

  Why? Why do you want to put yourself at risk? What’s in it for you?

  ALBUS

  I know what it is to be the spare. Your son didn’t deserve to be killed, Mr Diggory. We can help you get him back.

  AMOS (finally showing emotion)

  My son – my son was the best thing that ever happened to me – and you’re right it was an injustice – a gross injustice – if you’re serious . . .

  ALBUS

  We’re deadly serious.

  AMOS

  This is going to be dangerous.

  ALBUS

  We know.

  SCORPIUS

  Do we?

  AMOS

  Delphi – perhaps if you were prepared to accompany them?

  DELPHI

  If that would make you happy, Uncle.

  She smiles at ALBUS, he smiles back.

  AMOS

  You do understand even getting the Time-Turner will risk your lives.

  ALBUS

  We’re ready to put our lives at risk.

  SCORPIUS

  Are we?

  AMOS (gravely)

  I hope you have it in you.

  ACT ONE SCENE FIFTEEN

  HARRY AND GINNY POTTER’S HOUSE, KITCHEN

  HARRY, RON, HERMIONE and GINNY sit eating together.

  HERMIONE

  I’ve told Draco again and again – no one in the Ministry is saying anything about Scorpius. The rumours aren’t coming from us.

  GINNY

  I wrote to him – after he lost Astoria – to ask if there’s anything we could do. I thought maybe – as he was such a good friend to Albus – maybe Scorpius might want to stay over part of the Christmas break or . . . My owl came back with a letter containing one simple sentence: ‘Tell your husband to refute these allegations about my son once and for all.’

  HERMIONE

  He’s obsessed.

  GINNY

  He’s a mess – a grieving mess.

  RON

  And I’m sorry for his loss, but when he accuses Hermione of . . . well . . . (he looks across at HARRY) Oi droopy drawers, like I say to her all the time, it could be nothing.

  HERMIONE

  Her?

  RON

  The trolls could be going to a party, the giants to a wedding, you could be getting bad dreams because you’re worried about Albus, and your scar could be hurting because you’re getting old.

  HARRY

  Getting old? Thanks, mate.

  RON

  Honestly, every time I sit down now I make an ‘ooof’ noise. An ‘ooof’. And my feet – the trouble I’m having with my feet – I could write songs about the pain my feet give me – maybe your scar is like that.

  GINNY

  You talk a lot of rubbish.

  RON

  I consider it my speciality. That and my range of Skiving Snackboxes. And my love for all of you. Even Skinny Ginny.

  GINNY

  If you don’t behave, Ronald Weasley, I will tell Mum.

  RON

  You wouldn’t.

  HERMIONE

  If some part of Voldemort survived, in whatever form, we need to be prepared. And I’m scared.

  GINNY

  I’m scared too.

  RON

  Nothing scares me. Apart from Mum.

  HERMIONE

  I mean it, Harry, I will not be Cornelius Fudge on this one. I will not stick
my head in the sand. And I don’t care how unpopular that makes me with Draco Malfoy.

  RON

  You never really were one for popularity were you?

  HERMIONE shoots RON a withering look as she aims to hit him but RON jumps out of the way.

  Missed.

  GINNY hits RON. RON winces.

  Hit. A very solid hit.

  Suddenly an owl is in the room. It swoops in low and drops a letter on Harry’s plate.

  HERMIONE

  Bit late for an owl isn’t it?

  Harry opens the letter. Surprised.

  HARRY

  It’s from Professor McGonagall.

  GINNY

  What does it say?

  HARRY’s face drops.

  HARRY

  Ginny, it’s Albus – Albus and Scorpius – they never made it to school. They’re missing!

  ACT ONE SCENE SIXTEEN

  WHITEHALL, CELLAR

  SCORPIUS is squinting at a bottle.

  SCORPIUS

  So we just take it?

  ALBUS

  Scorpius, do I really need to explain to you – uber geek and Potions expert – what Polyjuice does? Thanks to Delphi’s brilliant preparation work, we are going to take this potion and be transformed, and thus disguised we will be able to enter the Ministry of Magic.

  SCORPIUS

  Okay, two points, one, is it painful?

  DELPHI

  Very – as I understand it.

  SCORPIUS

  Thank you. Good to know. Second point – do either of you know what Polyjuice tastes of? Because I’ve heard it tastes of fish, and if it does I will just vomit it back up. Fish doesn’t agree with me. Never has. Never will.

  DELPHI

  Consider us warned. (She knocks back the potion.) It doesn’t taste of fish. (She begins to transform. It’s agonising.) Actually it tastes quite pleasant, yum. It is painful but . . . (She burps, loudly.) Take it back. There is a – slight – (She burps again and turns into HERMIONE.) Slight – overpowering – fishy residue.

  ALBUS

  Okay, that’s – wow!

  SCORPIUS

  Double wow!

  DELPHI/HERMIONE

  This really doesn’t feel how I – I even sound like her! Triple wow!